Sly, Horrible, Bad Mannered, Miserable, Thieves

I was going to post another politically driven post, one about Bangladesh, but something that has just happened to me has taken precedent.

I live with 13, yes, 13 other girls. We've all been pretty friendly to each other and actually, I like most of them a lot. Recently, though, it's getting quite tiring living with them and this is for one reason only. Since returning to uni from the Christmas holidays, my "wonderful" (oh yes I went there with the quotation marks!) flat mates have decided that they will do everything in their power to be sly, horrible, bad mannered, miserable, thieves (yes, I went there!)!

Let me explain, so you don’t think I’m being unnecessarily bitchy. We came back from Christmas to find that “someone” had decided it would be o.k to leave their disgusting left over food on our kitchen table for the whole month. That’s right, someone decided to cook some rice before they left and leave it there for the magic fairies of Washing-Up Land to come and take it. This meant that the first sight we saw when we came back was a big pot of decaying, green, bacteria-ridden rice but, whatever right? Maybe someone forgot to wash it. Maybe they were in a rush to catch the train home. Whatever, no big deal. Oh no!

All of a sudden, dirt, grease and filth seem to be common place in our kitchen now. Once revered as the cleanest kitchen of the uni-I kid you not-orange, oily, residue, food stuff and fat of chickens plague our sinks, clog our drains and fester on our hobs. Again, whatever, we have cleaners, they’ll be our mums (note: my mum would never put up with me leaving such a disgusting mess), it’s fine. Oh no it gets worse still…

I went home last weekend, as I do every weekend, to go to work. I left Friday evening, I was back by Sunday evening, two days, and what do I find when I get back? All of my washed and dried pots and pans had been used, dirtied and left for ME COMING BACK FROM LONDON to wash! Now I’m a reasonable person, I let a lot of things slide, but this, this is just taking the biscuit! Being a Muslim, I don’t eat pork, they do, how do I know they didn’t cook pig? It wasn’t even a little dirty, this was full on disgusting! Burnt on food and residue, left atop a greasy, burnt overspill. I was fuming! I wrote a horrible but frank note and then called a flat meeting.

A note, via another housemate, also a victim of the same incident, was sent to every one of our housemates about SIX whole hours before the meeting was set. Come 7o’clock two housemates decide not to show up and another thinks it’s a burden and a waste of time but came begrudgingly, after receiving a swift kick up the backside from the aforementioned other victim. There, with me leading, we came to an agreement that we would show each other a little more respect and manners, we would be a lot cleaner and we would own up to anything me may have done which would upset others. No, no one owned up to using my things…yeah, I know! I was still happy with the outcome, though, it was positive, I was satisfied and so were the others, I’m not an evil dictator everyone had their chance to share any qualms they may have. So I had high expectations things would change.

Lo and behold, I woke up to real angry knocks and shouting from our lovely, wonderful, cleaners. They really are such sweeties, so friendly and always happy to see us, so the fact that they were so angry really worried me. What’s happened now? After EVERYTHING that happened during the meeting, someone had urinated in our bathroom. No, not in the shower so it goes down the drain, on the floor and covered it with a mat! I KNOW! A huge puddle of yellow piss all over our shower! Sad thing is, we have FOUR bathrooms in our flat, four toilets too, the one bathroom that they happen urinate over, would be mine wouldn’t it! If you’re wondering, yes the poor cleaners did have to wash it, yeah I know!

After the week I’ve had I just had to get away from this dingy flat for a while, alone. So I decided it was a perfect opportunity for me to go to Tescos. I did my weekly shop and thought I’d treat myself to a little treat, heck, I deserve one! I bought a pack of ten chocolate crepes amongst other stuff and was happy that I managed to get everything I needed for just over £15. Things are looking up! I gave myself a break away from my 3000 word essay and cracked it open at around 10pm, I ate two and gave one to another flatmate. A couple of breaks later my tummy rumbles, and hey it may be unhealthy but my tummy makes the decisions, so I go to the fridge and take out another one… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK! There’s ONLY THREE LEFT!!!! I’ve been hearing people go in and out of the kitchen but I didn’t think they’d have the audacity to steal someone’s food!

Baring in mind that it was 2:15 am when I got up to get one, I think it’s safe to say; ladies and gentlemen my flatmates are sly, horrible, bad mannered, miserable, thieves. And, yes, I know exactly who it is! I can hear her right now in the kitchen as well, stealing someone else’s food no doubt; it’s now 3:13 am…